This past couple of months have been busy: work, husband, baby, clients, life, family, and then back to work, husband, and baby. I think about Sara Jessica Parker in the movie, “I Don’t Know How She Does It,” because I really don’t know how “she” does it and I’m not trying to do it all anyway.

While my life is relatively smooth sailing, I do find myself thinking about all of the “stuff” that needs to be taken care of outside of work. Those”to do” lists have been buried somewhere and I can’t seem to resurrect them. But the most important things get done–shower, eat, air, baby, husband. If I can remember these five items, I am doing good.

Considering that women tend to work more hours in the day than men (if you add in the “work” we do at home with our families), we should feel obligated to treat ourselves—and yes, I said obligated—which is why I am “going” on a spring retreat. I’ve decided that my “retreat” in April will include the following:

1. A massage at the spa–I really need this!
2. Lunch with two girlfriends who I really need to catch up with–it’s been way too long
3. A day out in the sun with a book or magazine–when was the last time I actually read a book?
4. Take Professor Baby somewhere to do something fun
5. A fun day with the husband

So the last two involve the family, but I can’t help it. In any event, it is always good to get that “me” time in when life takes over. Before we can take care of others, we must first take care of ourselves.

Happy Spring!

Smooches,

Professor Diva Cali

Now, let’s start of by saying, TGIF! I am really looking forward to the weekend albeit the weather may not be the best. A nice spring and having a good summer are just around the corner and this year is big one.  I’ll be 35 this year in August and have challenged myself to lose 35 pounds by then. So how close am I to reaching that goal? I plead the fifth but every day is a new day for divas–right?

In speaking about the spring and summer, I actually was in DSW this past weekend. The trend for the summer sandal: high…high…high….oh, and high. My thoughts: why, why, why?? Like I said, I have challenged myself to lose weight in hopes of actually being able to hold my own weight as this old, but new, trend makes way into my wardrobe. While I love my baby boy, I wish there was a magic potion to make post-baby weight melt away quick, fast, and in a hurry.

So back to the shoes: all the colors and designs were so cute needless to say, I may require a chiropractor–shout out to Dr. Ubom–but beauty is sometimes p-a-i-n. Some heels are strictly for car use and expire in an hour; but most make me feel more confident. And platforms, that’s a whole ‘nother Oprah to say the least. But could you imagine a world without high heels? BORING.

In the past, there has been a difference in the heels that are for 1) the bedroom, or 2) worn in a ”special” kind of club frequently visited by primarily a male clientele. I’m pretty sure, you’ll see more in the office, at church (unfornately worn the wrong way) and in the grocery store —but ladies, remember, classy not trashy.  However, why not give more inches a try—that didn’t come out right but you know what I mean.

The downside—outside of the fact that your back and feet take a beatin’— the more struggle with the economy, the higher the heel (among other things) according to a study.

Divas—we know how to help the economy though, right? Go buy a pair of high heels!

Smooches,

Professor Diva Cali

I remember as a pre-teen singing Whitney Houston songs in the shower at the top of lungs and believing that I WAS her prodigy–tee hee. I also recall having her cassette tape and playing it over and over again. Yes, I was a child of the 80′s and Ms. Houston was a part of my up bringing as with many of my other friends and family.

When I heard the sad news , my first thought—rumor—Whitney Houston could not be dead. She was making a comeback and we, her fans, were rooting for her. After a tumultous divorce and dealing with drugs and alcohol, we still believed in her and wanted her to come out on top–and she was. From Stevie Wonder to Oprah Winfrey, we were ALL in her corner.

After looking at the service on CNN yesterday, I came to to the conclusion that she was more than a beautiful voice. She touched so many people in different ways and paved the way for some many—Brandy, Monica, Beyonce, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Hudson, and many more. There was a sparkle in her smile, even when she wasn’t at her best, which gave us all the hope we needed to see her succeed.

Over the course of the past week, the person I have thought about the most is her mother, Cissy. She is in my prayers. Bobbi Kristina is also in my thoughts–I can’t even imagine what she may be thinking. And last, Bobby Brown. I actually feel sad for him; so many blame him for Whitney’s downfall–but what do we know?

Well, Whitney is now in heaven singing with that beautiful voice of hers. I hope she knows just how much she was loved.

Rest in peace Ms. Houston. You were and still are the voice.

Smooches,

Professor Diva Cali

This week has been a looonnng week. The hustle and bustle of work, being a wife and Mom, and lending an ear and advice has me looking forward to my weekend libation and the day off on Monday.

My food for thought this week: It’s amazing how much we learn about ourselves when we look to our parents. One thing I miss about teaching is asking my students, “Who are your role models?”  Most reply with the name of a close friend or a parent.

I can’t begin to tell you how much my parents have influenced me and who’ve I’ve become. Albeit my parents divorced when I was a toddler, both gave me what I needed when I needed it. While most say I look just like my Dad, it’s my Mom’s mannerisms that I have.

One thing I can tell you about my parents: both believe in a good work ethic, putting their trust into a higher being, and treating people in a kind manner. I try to mimic these characteristics/qualities in hopes of passing this onto our son.

But, what would I be like if I didn’t have their guidance throughout my adolescent years and even now? I’m just not sure. I am who I am because of the two of them.It was my Mom who taught me about having “the guts” to do what I WANTED to do. I think this is why I have never shied away from certain things in life.My Dad has taught me, especially in my recent years, about humility and recently staying “above the rim.” Simply put; don’t get caught up in “shenanigans,” stay above it.

As our son turns 8 months on MLK day—ugh, where did the time go?–we, the hubby and I, will do everything to be his “paddle” when he’s “up the creek.” We will guide him when he needs it but allow him to make decisions on his own that lead him down the right path.

I’ve concluded that our parents/guardians teach us so much about how we lead our own lives. I realize that more and more as I progress through parenthood.

So. . . THANK YOU MOM AND DAD for your guidance, criticism, candor, and honesty when I needed it.

The “P” in paddle, when you’re up the creek, stands for “parent.”

Shout out to all the true parents who have their kids’ backs!

Smooches,

Professor Diva Cali

Last week I was listening to Jeff Johnson on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and he spoke about New Year’s resolutions. He basically stated that we start off strong and the fizzle out. And then we come to the end of the year and  ponder upon what happen. As Arsenio Hall used to say “Things that make you say hmmmm.” 

If we sit back and think about the word “resolution” or “resolve,” in my mind it means definite or end all, be all. Resolutions, at times, can be heavily weighted. So when we don’t accomplish them, we’re hard on ourselves making it a greater challenge to achieve them.

This year: I am taking “resolutions” out the picture and replacing with ”evolutions” which is a process and more attainable in my eyes.

My four EVOLVE-lutions:

1. Evolve into a healthier being through diet and exercise.

2. Evolve into a better person when it comes to the important relationships and friendships in my life.

3. Evolve into understanding that adversity has no face–thanks LVA.

4. Evolve into not sweating the small stuff. People are people and I can’t control that. I can only control myself.

So, PDD family: In 2012 I am resolving to EVOLVE.

 Happy New Year!

Smooches,

Professor Diva Cali

google.com

It’s the holiday season, 2012 is near, and most are in full hustle and bustle mode. From holiday shopping to family visiting, holiday cocktails are in the near future.

As I was sitting this week contemplating my gift list, I thought about all the things I am thankful for as we count down to the New Year.

It goes without saying that my family and friends keep me grounded; so I am ALWAYS, ALWAYS thankful for them.

With this being said, these are the top ten “gifts” I am and was thankful for in 2011:

1. My husband for having my back and keeping me straight. Marriage is a commitment and I must say he is TRULY committed to me, our son, and I thank him.

2. RJ, our son, who chose me to be his mother. I would do everything all over again for him because he’s my ray of sunshine. When he wakes up, he gives me a smile and THIS IS THE BEST.

3. My Mom—but what else is new. She’s just always right there even if I can’t reach her on cell phone.  We’re working on that. LOL.

4. Tee Tee—you know who you are because RJ smiles when he sees you–it’s adorable! Thank you, thank you . . . and thank you for the ear when I am “having one.” And to the other Tee Tee, thank you also sweetikins!

5.  Little Big Sis–all I can say is that you made it happen and always have my back and I got yours. Thanks for being my gurl! Shout out to LA(T) too—my “check” person.

6. Drs. Sun, Marder and Videlefsky along with all the special nurses—you made me stronger in the beginning, middle, and the end.

7. Northside Hospital who made it easy when it was TIME; they were on it.

8. Mr. Tony for keeping my hair in check and truly telling me “chile you need color.” One of the best things I could have done to my hair.

9. The lady, whom I didn’t even know, but was told, prayed for me as we awaited RJs arrival home. Angels are all around us and we need to appreciate them.

10. Girl Scouts for hiring me in October and believing that I can do the job. While my job is hectic, it does feel good to know that I am making a difference. However, I do miss my students and hope to get back to teaching soon.

So, as you get into the holidays, remember it’s not about the gifts under the tree but the “gifts” you’ve been given.

Smooches,

Professor Diva Cali

Air Kisses and Happy Holidays,

Professor Diva Mac

Source: BitchBuzz

Will the person that invented the Christmas sweater please raise your hand???  You’re on permanent academic probation for unleashing this scourge upon the land.   I’m no scrooge and love the holiday season, but Christmas displays should be made on trees, on houses and in front yards.   Everyday since Thanksgiving I’ve spotted Santa’s, reindeers, and snowmen stitched across sweaters.   Some of the have these seasonal characters covered in glitter, rhinestones and sometimes blinking lights.   In some instances I think the Christmas sweater is appropriate as a gag gift or for women over 70.  However I’ve seen a number of women that were probably in their early 40s wearing them.   Ladies put those Christmas sweater in the drawer for 30 years.   One after the other, they kept passing my table at Red Bone Alley.     Even for the senior set your keep you knitted Noel in moderation.  Perhaps just one single character, no characters on the front, back and sleeves.     Oh and one more thing if you must wear the Christmas sweater do not accessorize with Christmas jewelry all at the same time. 

 If simply cannot contain your festive spirit and you must express it through your wardrobe opt for a tasteful holiday themed broach.   Personally I’m not a fan but I think this is a good option to a reindeer stampede across the chest.  Don’t go oversized with the broach and please no mechanics, no blinking lights or carols should come from your lapel.   Stay away from Christmas earrings.  Wreaths should hang from the front door not your lobes.   

And one more thing I’ve never seen a man in a Christmas sweater.   Was the inventor some bitter dude???  

Shorts and Longs

I often tweet and Facebook about wacky incidents and annoying students, however I do not tell you enough about the admirable students.   There is a few this semester that whose determination have truly inspired me.    Last year I assisted with early registration.  One of the students that I met was a young lady from a nearby town I will call DJ.   She was very excited about coming to college and very proud to have earned a full academic scholarship.   When the fall semester came I met her again in Intro to PR.   She was very quiet, being the only freshman in the class.  However her course work was on par with the upperclassmen.  Near the end of the semester she began to miss several classes which were very out of character.  I later learned that she had been hospitalized and was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.   DJ returned to class, caught up on her assignments and rocked her final presentation.    The quiet freshman that sat in the back produced one of the best media kits of the semester.      This semester DJ is another of my PR classes.  Unfortunately her health issues have progressed and she has missed even more days this semester.  However, she contacts me regularly regarding assignments and follows the course on Blackboard.    This week she emailed me and apologized for not making the extended deadline on an assignment.  Although I make concessions for her she does not expect or ask for any favors.   

Many of us do not think of violent crimes impacting small rural communities.  One of my students has lost eight friends that were victims of violence.   I noticed that her demeanor had changed in class.  At the start of the semester she was very engaged, but then began to miss class. When she was present her head was down and she was unusually quiet.  One day she asked to speak to me after class and explained that she was feeling lost because she had experienced so much lost.   The previous week her eighth friend had been killed within a year.   I didn’t know how to respond.  I asked where she was from and was surprised her hometown is a rural community upstate.   I expressed my sympathy to her and inquired about her support system.   As the semester progressed I’ve seen her return more to her former self.  She’s volunteered to help with projects on campus.  At midterm she was failing and now she has a C and is smiling again.

The most amazing of my honorable mentions is my student RB.  She’s one of the first students that I taught.  I feel very connected to that entire group but RB is like my little sister.   Before the spring semester ended she walked into my office one day, nervously closed the door and told me she was having a baby.   She told me she was afraid that I would be upset and disappointed by her pregnancy.  I told her I only would be disappointed if she didn’t continue school.   She returned to school in the fall with a large baby bump, of which elicited stares and whispers from faculty, staff and students at the private religious institution.  The taunts were distressing but did not deter her. At midterm RB was holding down a job, producing shows for the campus TV station and acing exams all at nine months pregnant.   She was in class until a week before she gave birth. Some days she was having contractions!  She completed assignments in advance because she knew that maternity leave was imminent.    Last week I visited her at the hospital.  While I was holding her day old son, she’s strategizing how she can complete her course work and return to school in the spring.   

The term honorable mention is seen as second best but the drive and determination of these three students surpasses all others.     When a student says to “I missed the deadline because I was taking nap,” yet wants a second chance to submit it the assignment;   I think of these courageous young ladies.    There’s no comparison that can be made.   When I’ve been whining about my own life I think of these students and end the pity party.  If they can do it, we all can.

A professor of computer science and human-computer interaction and design at Carnegie Mellon University, he delivered a series of last lectures when he found out he had pancreatic cancer. He was told he had 3-6 months to live—and out lived that until his death in 2008.  As opposed to being sorrowful, he looked death right in the eyes and decided he would live life happily.

What would your last lecture be like if you were dealt the same card that Dr. Pausch was? Would you be sad? Take look at what he said.

Smooches,

Professor Cali

Michael Bailey/The Minority Eye

Fall is homecoming season and this past weekend I returned for the second gathering of Carolina Bloggin’.  CB is an annual gathering of bloggers from across South Carolina.   It felt like homecoming reconnecting with bloggers from UncomonlyU, Make Me Over Eb, The Fat and Skinny on Fashion, Life is Pichey, Angelfish Creations, Musings of a Gallivanting Boy and That Teowanna.  

The luncheon was held at Gervais and Vine and Firefly Vodka returned as a sponsor.  As we dined on great southern cuisine and sipped Firefly cocktails Alphonse FM shared tips on podcasting, Brad Warthen gave insights from a “compulsive blogger” and Mr. Goodwill Hunting shared how being authentic has led to a large and loyal following along with appearances on “The Nate Berkus Show.”  

This year the program also featured the Carolina Weblog Awards and Pee Dee Foodie was named blog of the year.

Being a part of this network is invaluable.  I remained in contact via Facebook and Twitter with the bloggers I met last year and now I have new friends to follow.    Last year I met Kaela Harmon (UncommonlyU) and this semester she visited me on campus and spoke to my PR students. She brought along Michael Bailey (The Minority Eye) to join the dialogue with the students.   I would not have made any of these connections had I not introduced myself to Teowanna at Blogging While Brown two summers ago in Washington, D.C.   She asked a question during one of the seminars and stated that she was from South Carolina, which was the catalyst for our meeting.  

 Once again I left Carolina Bloggin’ inspired by my fellow bloggers.  I’m so glad to be a part of this community with y’all.

Air Kisses,

Professor Diva Mac

P.S.  Check out the Carolina Bloggin’ album on Facebook.