Air Kisses and Happy Holidays,

Professor Diva Mac

Source: BitchBuzz

Will the person that invented the Christmas sweater please raise your hand???  You’re on permanent academic probation for unleashing this scourge upon the land.   I’m no scrooge and love the holiday season, but Christmas displays should be made on trees, on houses and in front yards.   Everyday since Thanksgiving I’ve spotted Santa’s, reindeers, and snowmen stitched across sweaters.   Some of the have these seasonal characters covered in glitter, rhinestones and sometimes blinking lights.   In some instances I think the Christmas sweater is appropriate as a gag gift or for women over 70.  However I’ve seen a number of women that were probably in their early 40s wearing them.   Ladies put those Christmas sweater in the drawer for 30 years.   One after the other, they kept passing my table at Red Bone Alley.     Even for the senior set your keep you knitted Noel in moderation.  Perhaps just one single character, no characters on the front, back and sleeves.     Oh and one more thing if you must wear the Christmas sweater do not accessorize with Christmas jewelry all at the same time. 

 If simply cannot contain your festive spirit and you must express it through your wardrobe opt for a tasteful holiday themed broach.   Personally I’m not a fan but I think this is a good option to a reindeer stampede across the chest.  Don’t go oversized with the broach and please no mechanics, no blinking lights or carols should come from your lapel.   Stay away from Christmas earrings.  Wreaths should hang from the front door not your lobes.   

And one more thing I’ve never seen a man in a Christmas sweater.   Was the inventor some bitter dude???  

Having the summer off and focusing on my new “project,” I have had the opportunity to read many articles about the misuse of Facebook and follow profiles of family and friends secretly. Some of the posts I see are very interesting and scary at times. We have become way too trigger happy with our fingers posting intimate moments and thoughts–for what?

I will admit that when I first signed up for my page, I was all over the place. Later, I calmed it way down to minimal posts, comments, and likes per week. I have come to realize that it doesn’t add anything extra to my day and just don’t have the time nor interest anymore.

With this phenomenon, I decided that it was time to give some thought around what is not cool when it comes to Facebook. If you fall within any of these categories, it may be time to move onto Twitter–lol. Did I just say that?

1. Likey Likey Laura–Really, you have time to like EVERYTHING? Is there anything that you don’t like when it comes to someone’s post? Obviously you must have time on your hands to scope profiles and see what your peeps are up to as opposed to maybe calling them.

2. Comment Carmen–I don’t want to see you comment on another post–EVER! While it’s ok to comment every once in a while, every hour on the hour is a tad much. By the time you have commented all across America, you could have written a book…maybe you should think about this as a future endeavor?

3. Pissed Off Patricia–Is it really necessary to put your dirty laundry out there, even if it’s in “code”, to someone who has tried you?  Anyone who puts the issue out there in the social media realm needs to step up to the plate and resolve the issue face-to-face not on Facebook.

4. Curse A Lot Cathy–Need I say more? Anytime you actually write a curse word for others to see equals no class at all especially when it’s uncalled for–which is usually the case.  And cursing just to curse in a post is so un-cool.

5. Tell All Teresa–We don’t need to know that you are at the salon at 11 am, going to the grocery store at 2 pm, having dinner with friends at 6 pm, and then heading to the “da club” at 10 pm all in one day. Yes, we know that you are busy but posting every second of your life shows that perhaps you may not have a life. Sorry to be so rude.

6. Business Betty–Some things are not for Facebook. While your friends love you, they don’t need to know the intimate details of your life. This may come back and bite you in the butt. Also, be careful of who your friends are when it comes to your business–like the people you work with. Questionable pictures also fall in this category.

I think that about sums it up. By the time you read this post, there will be a gazillion Facebook posts, likes, and comments because social media is always moving and transforming. We have gone from MySpace to Facebook to Twitter to Ding, Ping, Pong, and Dong…or whatever. In any event, just remember the importance of actual social interaction with other human beings as opposed to your computer and if need be “unbook your face.”

Smooches,

Professor Diva Cali

Below you will see our first guest blog post by Mr. Elliott Robinson who we have much love for considering he has “Wisdom in Love.” We hope you’ll enjoy and as you can imagine, we’re interested in your comments.

Smooches and Air Kisses,

Profs Cali and Mac

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While perusing Facebook last week, I received a notification that I was tagged in a post.  I clicked over and found an article about NBA star Gilbert “Agent Zero” Arenas of the Orlando Magic.  Arenas filed a lawsuit against the producers of the reality show “Basketball Wives” based on various claims including trademark infringement.  He is also seeking to limit the participation of Laura Govan (the mother of Arenas’ 3 children) in the show.

 After some legal chatter back and forth on the merits of the lawsuit, I expressed my  appreciation for the lawsuit and my hope that the show would simply disappear.  I mean do we really need yet another “reality” show where African-American women are portraying every negative stereotype from the last 100 years?  Do we?

Well, why did I do that?  You would have thought I called for a repeal of the 19th Amendment to the Constitution and a referendum placing every women in the kitchen sans shoes. 

 Women came forward in support of the show and the right of the wives to “earn a living.”  One woman even posted the phrase, “Make that money!”  Uh, how much money did she think Ms. Govan would earn from the show?  Shaunie O’Neal (executive producer) is the only one cashing any serious checks from this ill-advised, but probably profitable enterprise.

Source: pageanplanet.com

Well, that got me thinking.  At what cost does the pursuit of fame outweigh self-respect?

 A Long Gone Era

In this age of “fame,” the rules are quite blurred in comparison to previous generations.  When I was growing up, the two individuals most “famous for being famous” were Zsa Zsa Gabor and Charles Nelson Reilly.  Gabor’s aura was dignified and during her later years she was billed as a socialite, while Reilly’s persona was that of a learned scholar.  We never questioned their fame/ importance because you don’t question a woman who reminds you of a European heiress or a man who sports leather blazer patches and carries a pipe.

 Everyone Needs Role Models

 Fast forward thirty plus years and we are experiencing a very different approach to the pursuit of fame.  The idea of finding a cure for cancer or being the hometown girl/boy who makes good is not motivating the masses.  No, it’s the pursuit of those fifteen minutes. 

However, the pursuit of fame is not conjuring up images of royalty or wise professors.  Oh no!  What keeps them grinding is the chance to be the next Snooki, Omarosa, The Situation, Khardasian (pick one) or if you play your cards right, say your prayers and eat your vitamins….Paris Hilton. (cue angelic music) 

Get Rich or Die Trying

 There are no boundaries, no rules, no morals, no shame.  Just an overriding desire to “Make that money!” 

• If it means humiliating yourself on a game show.  “No problem!”
• If it means revealing your deepest, darkest secrets and then being eviscerated by a talking head & his studio audience.  “Count me in!”
• If it means vying with 20 other half-naked, socially misadjusted hopefuls for the “love” of a perfect stranger.  “When’s the audition?”
• If it means being thrown together in some T.V. producer’s version of a lab rat experiment and then clawing and backstabbing one another until a “star” emerges.  “I’m gonna’ be a star!”
• If it means making a YouTube video where you jump off the roof of your house into a thimble of yak urine.  “Hey, get the camera?

Ah… We are truly in the clutches of the “Get Rich or Die Trying” generation.

On the Horizon

As I look on the horizon, I don’t see the reality star/ “famous for being famous” model going away anytime soon.  It’s an incredibly profitable business model for production companies and T.V. studios.  So the only hope we have is that the American public reaches a limit for this brand of “entertainment.”

The problem is people really love watching human train wrecks.  That feeling of knowing that while your life is not what you’d dreamt about as a child, it’s still better than “that” hotmess.com you watch every Tuesday night.  It’s simply a quiet storm of people behaving badly.

I’m expecting to see “Free Laura Govan” T-shirts any day now.  Geez.

———————

Elliott Robinson, JD brings his unique brand of humor and sensibility to love, relationships and family.  This speaker, writer and blogger at WisdominLove.com believes a strong dose of wisdom can remedy any ailing relationship.  You can follow him on Twitter at: @elliottrob or follow Wisdom in Love @WisdominLove.

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Ladies I know it’s hot outside. Temperatures reached 90 degrees in my college town this week.  However before you begin to show more skin, please shed your winter coat of body hair.   I have had countless encounters this week with young ladies raising their hands in class and revealing an armpit afro.   Wax, shave, or Nair it, Please!   While we are on underarms, there are so many invisible deodorants on the market.  You do not want white deodorant stains on your tube top and for you furry ones those deodorant balls under your arms are disgusting.     Dove and/or Secret can take care of this issue and Lady Speed Stick Invisible Dry is in the $1 store.

Ladies, legs need to be smooth when wearing your shorts and minis.  It should not look like you are wearing textured leggings with your skirts.  Remove the hair from your legs.  It was gross during the winter when it wasn’t exposed and now that the world can see it, it’s even more so.   This goes for hairy arms too.   Some of us are definitely more hairy than others and hair pops up in strange places.   A student came to my office wearing a tank top.  Her chest hair rivaled that of Steve Carrell in “The 40 Year Old Virgin”.  Guys are now manscaping (waxing their chests,) therefore if you are a female and you have this most unfortunate problem females should manscape too.      

 I know it’s the end of the school year and your refund checks are spent and your parents may not be sending any more money before you come home.    But there are licensed estheticians living in the dorms with wax pots.  These entrepreneur’s rates are well below that of a salon.  Even if you have to barter tutoring for waxing, it’s worth it.  Plus there are inexpensive hair removal products at the drug and dollar stores.  You can’t wax your brows and leave your cleavage hair behind.    And don’t forget to get a bikini wax before hitting the beach this summer.

Hairy co-eds you have been placed on academic probation!

Air Kisses,

Professor Diva Mac

On the drive home today in Atlanta traffic, one of BFFs called me and I was ready to rant about my students. I was itching to tell someone how foolish they could be—it just really got me going and I am pretty sure she could tell. We talked about our teachers and how there were some that were cool, but if you crossed them, they’d surely set you straight in a New York minute.

Today, I had to “put it” to a couple of my students. They still don’t realize that I have eyes in the back of my head and that when I say something, it’s not just for my health–I actually mean it.

The scenario: we had Group Speech this week were I assign a topic, students get into a group and discuss the topic, and then come up with a 2-3 minute speech that one person will delivery at the end of class. Apparently, the weather (80 degrees) must have taken them somewhere else–like off their rocker. 

Google Images

While in class this particular group decides that they want to go online with their laptop and look up videos when they were supposed to be gathering information for the speech.  Really? No….REALLY?

Class continued, every group delivered a speech and at the end of class, I asked the entire group to see me. One said “we’re in trouble” as they walked up. I simply asked “if you were in your bosses office and were asked to prepare a presentation while sitting in their office, would you be online looking at videos?” Silence . . . and then the look of a deer in headlights. Next I said “well because you all decided to look at videos when you should have been preparing, I’ll be giving everyone in the group a seven out of 10.” If they didn’t figure it out then, that’s a C when they could have had an A.

Everyone is given the opportunity to go to library during class or they can bring their laptops and stay in the class to work on the assignment. If you were going to be on the internet looking at videos, DON’T DO IT RIGHT UNDER YOUR PROFESSOR’S NOSE. Did they really think I wasn’t going to say something?

In any event, if you test your professors, you’ll end up failing—figuratively and literally–which ultimately means Academic Probation. Two thumbs down.

Smooches,

Professor Diva Cali

veezzle.com

Just when I thought things were going good in class, I assign a paper and everything comes to a screeching halt…GRAMMAR and PUNCTUATION.

As a person who puts punctuation and grammar pretty high up on the totem pole, it surprises me every single time I see college students misspelling words or using the wrong word, etc. I am not an English teacher/saint when it comes to this, but I know that when I see a student use “u” instead of “you” in a sentence, we have a problem.

Time and time again, it amazes me that students come to class not knowing the basic principles of writing but graduated from high school? What is really going on in our school system? I’m not sure what to think. I remember my English class teacher was no joke. I learned early what a run on sentence was and the difference between there, their, and they’re–I still see this used incorrectly.

In any event, when I see incorrect grammar, etc., in the papers that I grade, I immediately correct it. Yes, I am public speaking teaching, but if you write well, you’ll (as in you will) speak well. I honestly believe the text messaging, Facebook, Twitter, etc., are handicapping our students because they abbreviate everything and have no clue about spelling and the correct grammar. And let’s not even get into proof reading.

So if you teach, have kids, grandkids, whatever, please show them the light and not lite–by teaching them correct grammar and punctuation!

Smooches,
Professor Diva Cali

Dennis

This weekend I was enjoying the fall weather while running errands and shopping for a Halloween costume.    As I went from store to store I saw something very scary…Halloween clothing!  I do not mean costumes.  I mean Halloween themed street clothes…ghoulish!    I saw a woman wearing a long sleeved t-shirt with a spider web emblazoned across her chest. The spider was a skeleton with orange eyes.  Initially I thought she was an employee at Halloween Express.  Then I looked around and noticed the employees at the store were not wearing these skeletal spider shirts.  Soon the woman left the store and I started to hear the Geto Boys in my head “Mind Playing Tricks on Me.” 

Walking down the street, I passed a woman with ghosts dangling from her ears.    I screamed (silently that is) and ran into Party City.  The employees wore orange t-shirts that read “Halloween Expert” and khakis, very normal, not paranormal.   On Sunday I noticed at the grocery store a noisy charm bracelet with witch charms, on the wrist of the woman in front of me in the checkout line. 

 Halloween clothes are an oxymoron.  Rockers and Ed Hardy have made skulls popular.  I really enjoy Halloween, going to parties and dressing up is a ton of fun, so is eating candy corn.   However it is not necessary to horrify the masses with Halloween clothes on the street.   Christmas clothing started this holiday gear fright fest.   We issued an Academic Probation during the holiday season on those ornamented knits last year   Now do we need to brace ourselves for turkey medallions in November?   Please just wait for Halloween to arrive, people.  To paraphrase the Geto Boys classic, this year Halloween falls on a weekend.   This is your opportunity to dress up three days in a row!  I’m going to two parties and have a different costume for each.     Let’s stop the holiday wear before we are taken over by leprechauns in March and cotton tales in April.   Exorcise the ghosts and leave them home until 31^st or the Ghostbusters will have to be called out of retirement and I will be the first to enlist.

Leave your Jimmy Choo’s (granny boots) at the door!

Professor Diva Mac

veezle.com

As the summer sizzles and we all think twice about the outdoor shopping malls, it has been brought to my attention that swimwear is creaping up everywhere. And when I say creaping up, I litterally mean creaping up on the anatomy!  So, please don’t fall victim to being on academic probation while on the beach or at the pool.

With the 4th of July last weekend, pools, beaches, lakes, and anywhere with water were bumrushed by the bikini or swimsuit. I must admit, I did attempt a bikini while vacationing this spring in the Bahamas and I am here to say that it was a BAD, BAD idea. Thankfully, now I am back to the basic, but cute, swimsuit. I realize that gravity has won (for now) and that I will work my way back into that cute pink bikini; but a black one piece works just fine for now.

There are a couple of personal rules that I follow for wearing a bikini that come to mind. I had a great conversation with my cousin about this over the weekend. Now, I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, so think of this as an intervention from a dear friend. Ok?

1. Don’t wear a bikini that is too small. Really? If you’re a size 12 (which is perfectly fine), don’t try to fit into a size six.

2. Less is NOT always more. Cover yourself appropriately with the right type of fabric because we all don’t want to see your “goods.” See through is not for everyone.

3. When in doubt, throw it out. If you have to talk yourself into wearing it, maybe you shouldn’t wear it all. Save yourself while your ahead.

4. If you ask your spouse, significant other, or friend “how do I look?” and they give you a blank stare, don’t get upset. Just change into a one-piece. I’ve been there before. 

5. Last, if you wore a bikini at 23 and you’re now 33, things may not look the same and other people will notice too. Don’t worry, just readjust from a bikini to a tankini. You’ll still look good.

Enjoy the water and waves and remember no matter what size, you can still look good but just make the right decision before hitting the water.

Smooches,

Professor Diva Cali

We were required to take an online ethics training asssessment as an employee of a state college. Of course, we  all get  busy and forget to abide by what is known as a “rule.” I admit, upon first review, I was a little perturbed by another test that I, as a faculty member, would be required to take. Bah humbug. But I took it anyway.

justnewlistings.com

To my surprise, it was not submitted so I received a note via email and a phone call. The phone call was pleasant, of course, but the email was passive aggressive and unprofessional.  This was not the first offense by the offendee either.

We are ALL adults as faculty and staff. I am not interested in an email that is aggressive in tone and has exclamation marks. My first initial thought  was to react. But I simply said, this was not the time or place, nor the right battle. It was a mass email to all faculty who failed to take the test in time and a reminder to do so immediately. I proceeded to retake the darn test, sent an email indicating that I had attempted, prior to this rude email, to take it, and moved on.

I held my my “deep-deep down diva,” at bay thankfully.  Like my Mom always tells me “you gotta put them in their place but in a nice way.” I have no problem doing this as my true friends will tell you.

All I can say is, watch how you convey a message in an email, voicemail, etc., especially when representing an institution/organization in an authoritative role or any role for that matter. As faculty, we look to our superiors for support, encouragement, and respect.

Air Kisses,

Professor Diva Cali

P.S. Tell me about a time when you were upset about an agressive email and what you did to keep your “diva cool.” Leave a comment.

Source: Kiwanja

It’s not even acceptable in emails.  Sometimes I digress and get pretty silly with my students in class. However, it’s best to keep your communications professional so that you do not make that mistake when it really matters.   Obviously some students have not mastered the art of code switching when you’re writing IDK on a test.   If you do not know the answer just skip it!    It’s not funny when you identify Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor as “the Mexican lady LOL.”  Zero points for the test question (this crime happened in Media Law) and learn the meaning of PC.    

“ LOL smiley face, LOL smiley face”  I have to admit I like this song and every other one by Trey Songz too.  I’m also a textaholic.  My iPhone is with me at all times texting, tweeting, checking in with all our Divanaires on facebook.  I’m a grammarian but of course I do not text in standard English, however I do expect it to be spoken in class and definitely on written assignments.    This semester I’ve noticed more text language in written assignments…OMG!    I can’t think of anytime that it is appropriate for class work even if you are writing a press release (I teach PR writing); to MTV there should be no TTYL.   

SMH,

Professor Diva Mac

What text speak combinations are you constantly sending?   What fun combinations have you come up with?