With the end of the school year there came some pretty heavy situations. Most of my status updates on Facebook over the last month have been me blasting and side eyeing students. Well, I decided that my end of the school year post would be funny and light. Through all my mishaps and student dramas, it has been an incredible school year.  This is exactly what I set out to do when I applied to American University’s graduate program in 2007 and now here I am. I’m not at the school that I expected to be but blessed to have landed here all the same. Don’t abandon the blog. Both Cali and I will continue to update you during summer break.  

Over the last two months I’ve been compiling an amusing list of my student’s musings.  At the time I wasn’t quite sure what would come of it but now here it is; my semester’s greatest hits:    

Conversations

Professor Diva Mac (PDM):  I haven’t received your Q&A article yet.

Student:  I haven’t written it yet. (Giggling)

PDM:  Don’t bother.  (Not giggling)

Student:  (No longer giggling) 

___________________

PDM:  I don’t understand why your grades are so poor. You lead all of the class discussions; it’s clear you are reading the textbook and grasp the concepts.  Your comments in class are very intelligent. You’re a good writer, what’s going on with you?  

Male Student:  (long sigh) I know, I know, you’re making me feel bad. Well, I’ll tell you the truth….I got woman troubles and it’s distracting me from my work.

PDM:  (long pause while trying to suppress laughter)  Just get it together.

__________________

Male Student:  I missed class because I was on the phone with my agent.

PDM:  Hopefully you’re agent had the midterm review.    

__________________

Male Student:  The sun comes out and you start to show some leg, dresses everyday!  

PDM:  SIDE EYE!!!!

 One Liners

“Don’t no if my case study will b ready 2moro cuz the police @ my apt.” (via text!)“

“Somebody taught my grandma how to text and now she doesn’t call me.”

“Can you change my grade from a C to a B, because I want to pledge (a sorority?)”

“Don’t know why I’m not doing good on these tests because I be listenin to you in class and you know I’m a rapper and I got a photographic memory.  I don’t even write my rhymes down!”

From Colleagues

“You done tore her last pair of draws with me. “

“A dog don’t wag its tail unless there’s some food.”

Hope you enjoyed the list but the top hit is the first line I heard from a student on my first day of class:  “You bout to teach somethin in here?”

Air Kisses,

Professor Diva Mac